Sometimes it’s hard for you to see if you have changed or matured spiritually even when others can see it almost immediately. There has been times when I thought to myself that God must really be getting tired of me because I never seemed to change or grow in certain areas. I always thought that if I had changed then I would see everything differently. I would start to see some things different but as soon as I acted or responded to something the way I always had in the past then I would say to myself “well I guess you haven’t changed after all” and would go back to being my old self.
Recently, I have been going through things I never thought I would ever have to experience in my life and have not really prepared myself for any such thing. If anyone ever told me this is what you are going to go through I would say they are crazy because I couldn’t handle going through something like that. As hard as things may seem in my life right now and even though I have shed many tears somehow I find myself still being able to keep it together, not saying it’s always easy. I know a lot of it is God’s grace and His peace that passes all understanding,but if I had not grown and matured in God and His word, I would not now how to lean on Him in times like this. Had I not spent time praying in tongues then I would not be strong and be able to rely on His strength and not my own.
How do you know if you have changed or matured?……When you are able to keep it together inspite of all the circumstances and have peace inspite of all the hell that is breaking lose all around you, then there is definitely something that has changed in you! Sometimes we can’t see it until we are put under pressure, then you’ll know if you have changed by the way you handle it! You can’t read God’s word and pray in tongues and not have something change in you.
Psalm 28:7 (Amplified) - The Lord is my Strength and my [impenetrable] Shield; my heart trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song will I praise Him.