The Note

I remember a particular time when I was a teenager. There was a ballgame at school, and I wanted to go so bad. One problem I faced was my dad. I was scared to ask him anything. Then I had an idea. I would write him a note.

My dad always got up early to go to work and so, the stove was the first place I knew he would come to. My fingers trembled as I wrote the note and laid it on the stove top. I could hardly sleep. I just knew he would say yes and could hardly wait to get up in the morning.

I woke up bright and early and headed for the kitchen and picked the note up. To my surprise, the note was lying there just as I had left it. I quickly opened it anticipating the answer.  No answer. I was heartbroken.  How could he just not answer me?

My mom walked in the kitchen, and I said to her, “Did daddy not read the note?”

She said, “He did read it, but Daddy said that if you could not ask, it was not worth going to.”  I was stunned and mad for not asking him.

Why had I been so scared to ask him? All he could have done was say yes or no. In my little mind I thought of him as a big bear and was scared he would bite me. In reality he was not, this was just the image I had. Rest assured I was never afraid to ask my daddy again.  I found out all he wanted was for me to ask. To take this a step further that’s all God wants us to do is ask.

Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you.

John 16:23

What we ask must be in line with God’s word. God wants us blessed spiritually, physically, as well as materially. Don’t let the fear of asking keep you from attaining God best for your life.

~Tammy Sanders

Image Credit © Tammy Sanders

God’s Armor

Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defiled.  Samuel 17:45

David could not use Saul’s armor. It was heavy and just didn’t fit. Just like David we cannot put on someone else’s armor either. Like David we must put on our armor.  In order to defeat our enemies, we must put on the armor of love, joy, and peace. He has provided us with everything we need to succeed in this life.

I remember a time in my life when I walked in fear every day. Inside of me I wanted to be normal, but just like a snake that slips up on you, fear gripped me so tightly at times it seemed like I could not even breathe. Even at night I would go to sleep with a gun on my chest fearing for myself and my children.

Before, I was walking in my own strength trying to fight with the wrong weapons. Now that I’ve put on God’s armor of peace, I sleep like a baby at night knowing the Almighty is protecting me.

If you are living in fear and letting the enemy steal your peace, put on God’s armor for a change! When He helps us, it’s more powerful than anything we could imagine. I’ve broken through that fear and you can, too!

~Tammy Sanders

Image Credit: ©Tammy

Just as I am

I know God accepts me just as I am, but I have a hard time excepting me just as I am. This has been my biggest struggle that I still fight with today. Just knowing that God excepts me doesn’t change me, although this is where it starts. It has to become very real in me, in my heart! I find myself thinking on this more and more lately. I’m sure it’s God trying to get me to deal with it because once I deal with it and face it everyday, then what I am in God’s eyes will start to manifest in my life.  We have really over-rated perfection as Christians. I just read a statement recently that said, “I don’t think it bothers the world that we Christians sin; It bothers the world that we act like we don’t!” We have all been painted a picture in our minds how a Christian should behave or look when, in fact, all God wants is for us to just be real no matter what we look like or what mistake we just made today.

You know we are our biggest enemy. If we can ever get past US, God can really use us in so many areas.

I may still struggle with this today, but because I know that God accepts me, it helps me know that I still have a chance. He will not give up on me no matter how hard-headed I may seem in this area of my life. One step at a time, one day at a time is how change takes place, but remember it is more effective with consistency. We have to be willing to give it to God everyday…everyday!!

I accept myself more today than I did five years ago or even a year ago. It’s a process that I am willing to walk out because I want all God has for me in His Kingdom!!

Don’t seek perfection just seek being real. That’s all God is asking for!!!

 

~ Michelle Parrish

Worry,what’s up with that?

Worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, unbelief, and the list goes on. It wears lots of labels. It is common to us all. How we handle these things has a lot to do with our relationship with the Lord. Do we really trust him? How do we know that he will not fail us? Is his word really true for me? Most worry comes by us not having an intimate relationship with our heavenly Father. Maybe it is because our natural fathers let us down. Maybe they weren’t always there, or weren’t there at all. It could be they didn’t support the family as they should have.

Our perception of the Lord can also be harmed by other past relationships. It could be relationships with our family, friends, co-workers, or even our church family. We may even compare him with our own failures of having not been there for others. Experiences in relationships are either good or bad. They can work for us, or against us.

Our heavenly father is very patient with us. He doesn’t expect us to get it on the first try. Some of us are on our thousandth try.

The word teaches us that the Lord is patient, longsuffering,and merciful towards us. He wants us to succeed and be triumphant over worry, anxiety, fear and unbelief. He is for us. None of these things can triumph over us. We are more than conquerors through him who loves us.

When I was a child I spoke as a child,I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a mirror darkly,but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know even as I am known. ~1 Corinthians 13:11-12  

We are growing in our relationship of the Lord. We are maturing in understanding Him. As we develop a more intimate relationship with Him, our faith will become unshakeable. We will no longer worry because, perfect love cast out all fear. Refuse to worry. Know that He will never fail you.

~Ricky Robinson

Stepping Out

The dictionary defines fear as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain, whether the threat is real or imagined. Fear is so powerful that it can literally stop you in your tracks, which is why the devil uses it so much… his whole mission is to stop you in your tracks! For me, my entire life seemed to be engulfed with a fear of failure. I was paralyzed for fear of making a mistake and having to deal with the way others would look at the mistakes I made. For years, the devil used this fear as a way to control me and keep me from fulfilling God’s plan for my life.

As a single parent and sole supporter of my children, I worked hard in a sewing plant to provide for my kids. I had been through a lot with my divorce and constantly dealt with feelings of failure and inferiority. You can imagine the surprise I felt when I suddenly began having thoughts of going back to college to pursue a degree in education. Me? I can’t do that! What if I can’t get in? What if I can’t do the work? How was I going to provide for my boys? What if I mess up? What will everyone say?

You can imagine the battle going on in my mind! I was new to Gateway and new to walking with God and trusting in Him to take care of things. I wasn’t really sure those thoughts were from God. The mental battle continued for a couple of months and I realized I was acting like Gideon, making excuses for why God should pick someone else besides me and asking Him for a sign to show me it was really Him speaking to me. Now, I’m sure none of you ever thought things like that, but I actually asked God for a sign! Well, He didn’t send a sign, but He did send a message.

Right when I needed to know what to do, Apostle David began preaching on boldness and how walking in faith means you have to step out and do something different. I meditated on the message and read the Word until I was able to muster up the courage to tell my plant supervisor that I was turning in my two weeks notice so that I could go back to school. There was such a relief after taking that first step! That paralyzing fear began to break in my life when I started to believe that I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Through the years, I have had to continue overcoming self-doubt and fear of failure in order to fulfill my Kingdom assignment. With every step of obedience, another link in that old chain has fallen off. Now, several years later, I have my teaching degree and have earned a Master’s in Educational Leadership. I’m presently working through the process of obtaining my doctorate, something I never would have dreamed about all those years ago. God’s mercy and grace have continued to lead me every step of the way. Would I be where I am today without stepping out that first time and breaking through that fear of failure? No way! Do I still struggle with stepping out in doing things? Have I missed it by not stepping out when I felt the unction to do so? Sure, I have. But at every level of breakthrough, I have learned how to trust God and act in obedience to His Word. I know that, as I keep following Him, I won’t stay where I am now, either.  God has a plan for my life, and His grace will keep helping me break through in order to fulfill it!

~ By: Ronda Sullivan

 

Love Breaks Through Fear

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” ~1 John 3:18

From an early age the Devil worked hard to make me scared of everything. I had constant nightmares and waking visions, causing me to fear spiritual things. I was that guy who could never get the right words out of his mouth, so I feared public ridicule. Having been the victim of child molestation, I grew into an adult terrified of intimacy. Fear caused me to avoid people and any responsibilities that would cause me to interact with others in any way. I instinctively rejected people for solitary pursuits, knowing that people would only hurt me more then I felt equipped to bear.

When we came to Gateway and I entered into fasting and praying in tongues, God started unraveling pieces of my fearful soul, and I experienced breakthrough in many areas. I gained confidence in my abilities, and I learned to be comfortable enough around people to hold down a job for the first time in my life. These changes were good, but there was still more to be done. Through mortification, I reached a place where the Love of God began to deal with me about my fears and insecurities. Holy Spirit wanted to expose them and show me how to deal with them, but I didn’t believe I could face those fears and I didn’t want others to know about them. I realized I had become a fake, a façade… willing to live a life I could control with intellect and logic, but not willing to really open up to the Love of God or the love of others.

Instead of pressing in and trusting God, I ran from Him and I ran from the church. For eight years I was out of church and out of God’s will for my life. During that time, I was a faithful employee and a “good person.” I was kind to my wife, and I dedicated all my free time to building a community project that helped others. I thought I was ok, because I still prayed in tongues occasionally, I read my bible once in a while, God never convicted me for leaving the church, and I never spoke evil against the leaders of the church or hindered my wife’s attendance. Despite all the “good” I did, those same old fears controlled me, guiding my decisions and actions. Over time, patterns of isolation took over again. Those hidden fears manifested in full force and I pushed back against people so hard that I almost pushed them all away.

God, in His mercy, gave me a wake-up call. Facing the possibility of losing everything that was important to me, I finally accepted that something had to change…and that something was me. Sitting alone, crying from grief and pain, I realized just how much I hurt everyone in my life. I knew that if I did not face my fears, I would wind up loveless, friendless, and homeless. I also realized the only hope I would ever have to be the man I must be is to trust the Lord. I cried out to Jesus and asked Him to forgive me for my disobedience and the hurt I’ve caused others, and He immediately overwhelmed me with His love and forgiveness. He told me it wasn’t too late to turn things around if I would trust Him and accept His love completely.

To achieve breakthrough, I have had to repent to God and to those I’ve hurt. I’ve had to forgive myself, as well as those who hurt me. By God’s Mercy, I receive forgiveness for each of my transgressions and the Grace required to help me make amends. It’s only because of His mercy that I don’t worry about missed opportunities. My hope is that as I continue to die to myself and depend on Him, His perfect Love working in me will provide what I cannot provide for others. Every day I experience His strength working through my weaknesses. It has been an uncomfortable process, but with each step His Love is breaking through in my life, and I am walking free from years of fear and bondage.

All praise, glory and honor to my Lord Jesus Christ, the light and hope of my salvation, Amen!

~by guest contributor (and husband of Anessa), Eric Back

It’s a Wonderful Life

What holiday film annually appears on television more than 300 times? If you guessed It’s a Wonderful Life, you guessed correctly! Why is that, do you think?

Ever heard of “The Holiday Blues”? George Bailey certainly had them. Loneliness, depression, feelings of loss, financial burden, family conflicts and alcohol abuse can intensify during the holiday season because our focus becomes unclear. As the year draws to an end, we often tend to look back with regret, thinking mournfully of the things we failed to accomplish during the last 12 months. Or worse, we look further back over the past several years and see only areas of lack in our lives. George Bailey found himself thinking, “By now I should have been…” or “I really thought I would have…” Sound familiar?

Sometimes we overcompensate for these feelings by trying to buy success, or the appearance of success. We succumb to commercial pressures to make poor financial decisions that will eventually add to our levels of frustration. We may even enter into a holiday season already under an undue burden we created for ourselves last year. We look at all the glitter and glitz of the season and become resentful of the things we don’t have. Often times, we look for someone to blame: it’s our boss’s fault, or our parents’ fault, or our Uncle Billy’s. Someone else has not done their share; someone else should have provided for us. Do we forget that God has provided for us abundantly? Have we completely forgotten that He supplies all of our need? We have forgotten because we become obsessively focused on our wants and our lack, instead of God’s generous and ample blessing.

For me, the appeal of It’s a Wonderful Life has always been the reminder it gives me. I get frustrated, I get angry, I get overly focused on the “could have been’s,” instead of being appreciative of what I do have and of what has been. I can identify with George Bailey in his despair, but I find myself also wanting to lecture him about his inherent worth and importance as he realizes, with Clarence’s help, how much his life has impacted the lives of others. “See, George,” I say with an air of superiority. “You are important, you have just forgotten!” In truth, I am saying these things to myself…reminding myself that God has a plan for my life and that I am a valuable part of His design.

It would help each of us if we would stop for a moment and think about how rich we are in this life. We have a God who has called us and ordained us from the foundation of the world. He has designed a place for us in the fabric of this life. Heed Clarence’s words of wisdom when he says, “Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

We have friends and family who love us. We have impacted the lives of other people. We have made more of a difference than we realize. We matter because God has made us to matter. He has given us a wonderful life to live. Don’t waste it with regret. Don’t let the mythical “holiday blues” get you to focus on insignificant things from your past. Remember… it truly is a WONDERFUL life!

~Linda

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It’s a Wonderful Life Trivia Questions

1. In what city did George Bailey live?

2. Which character lost $8,000?

3. How did George lose his hearing in one ear?

4. What is Clarence?

5. How did Clarence cleverly save George’s life?

6. What two friends share their names with two Sesame Street characters?

7. Who starred as George Bailey?

8. What did George dream of becoming?

9. What part of George’s house is always broken?

10. What did Clarence receive for accomplishing his mission?

**Find the answers on our Testimonies page**

You Were Born to be Wild

We always think of tiny newborn babies as sweet and innocent… completely devoid of any sin. But where does it come from? Does sin just suddenly leap on you from behind the bushes one day, like a lion on its prey? No, you entered this world with a sin nature… a nature like the first Adam. So, whether you realize it or not, from the instant you were born and the doctor spanked your little bottom, you were born to be wild!  That’s right; you were born to be crazy, wild, rebellious and even insane.  Some of you were born with a tendency to be homosexual, others with a tendency to be a gossip, and others of you had genetics that pre-dispose you to become an alcoholic. You were literally born to be wild.

Let’s take a quick trip back through time.  We are in the Garden of Eden and we see Adam and Eve sin and eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  They rebel against God’s system of thinking and opt for a system that can be “understood” based on Good and Evil.  By doing this, sin enters the world and so does “wildness”.  We watch as God comes to the Garden and cries out “Adam where are you?”  Obviously, God wasn’t having a “senior moment” and He didn’t forget where Adam was; instead He was making a statement as to the condition of Adam’s heart.  As of that moment, God no longer was able to identify with or connect with Adam, and Adam was “lost” to God.

So how does this affect you?  Adam, at that moment in time, set up a pattern of destruction that would flow down upon the generations of man and corrupt each of us eternally.  Sin gained dominion over man, and at that time we all became “wild”.  Paul said in Romans that all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.  And if we study even further, we see that the sin wasn’t our own, but it was the sin of Adam passed down to us through our thought processes, our genetic disposition toward “wildness” and a multitude of other problems.  We are all born sinners.  Separated from God, we are all slaves to our “wild nature”, also known as our “sin nature”.

However, God in His mercy and power saw a way of escape for us.  He wanted to build a family and He refused to let Sin tie His hands and limit Him from getting what He wanted.  God can be quite sneaky sometimes, and in His grand scheme He began to hatch a plan that would take thousands of years to culminate.  He found a way to come and put Himself into the position of Man.  Through Jesus Christ, He came and tamed the wildness of man’s spirit through the connection we can have through Christ Jesus.  In fact, Christ was the whole point.  Not Jesus, but Christ.  Jesus left the earth and went to heaven, but He left behind the “Christ” (which means anointed of God) that we might be able to partake in Him.  Paul said this: “Christ in us is our hope of glory”.

So here is what all of that means: When Jesus died and took our place for our wildness, we got to take His place in His Free Spirit!  Instead of being slaves to wildness, we could be free in the Grace of Christ!  You may have been born an alcoholic, a homosexual, a single parent child, poor, rich, slave, free, wild and crazy, but God made a way of ESCAPE FOR YOU!  You don’t have to live by the circumstances that the wildness of Adam created, but instead you can live free from the power of sin through the Love of Christ.  All you have to do is ask Him to give you a new spirit and make the exchange of your sin for Jesus’ sinless spirit (CHRIST).  By doing so, you become joint heirs with Christ and one of the many beloved of the Father!  You can live free instead of living bound!  You can live in liberty instead of living in fear!  You can live in peace instead of in torment! You can live righteous, instead of living wild! You can live IN CHRIST!

~Apostle David Coker

What Do You Call Embarrassment?

I’ve been through a bunch of titles for this post…

Change Only Happens When You Know Someone Else is Watching… or

Face It: If it Didn’t Happen in Public, You Would Never Fix It… or

Public Embarrassment: Is There Really Any Other Kind?

You can come up with one of your own, but I think you get the point. People don’t change just because they want to… there’s usually a reason for us to wake up and realize change is necessary. Unfortunately, we don’t usually even notice the need for change until we know that other people know we need to. So… here’s a little story from my life that got me thinking again about change. You can give it any title you want!

This year started off with a bang for me… or maybe it was a “beep.” A great big, giant BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!!! I left the local grocery store with a few items, hopped into my car, and the alarm started going off. I never even use the alarm on my car, and the key fob with the control for the alarm is broken. I couldn’t get the noise to stop! I was so embarrassed to be sitting in my own car, alarm blaring, and me not knowing what to do! Finally, the noise stopped, I breathed a sigh of relief, and put the key in the ignition… and the alarm went off AGAIN!!! Frantically, I called my husband to tell me what he thought I should do. Between the two of us, we figured it out, but not before I was sweating bullets from embarrassment! I have never been so happy to drive away from anyplace!!!

As I drove out of the parking lot, I started laughing at myself. Why was I so embarrassed? What was it in me that made me feel upset to be seen as a complete and total idiot in front of anyone who was at the store? That has never happened before…why couldn’t it have happened in the safety of my own driveway?!

And then I got to thinking… that’s really just the way it is. All hell can be breaking loose in our lives, every alarm, bell, and whistle screaming for our attention, and we think it’s okay as long as no one else is watching. It really isn’t that uncomfortable for us unless someone else IS watching! Once we know that our situation is visible to EVERYONE, then we’re more likely to change. As long as we can hide out in our own little lives, we won’t make many adjustments. As soon as our “alarms” start going off in public, drawing attention to us, we sit up and take notice.

So, I realize that all those things that cause alarms to go off inside my spirit are easy for me to hide as long as I’m the only one who hears them. BUT… when others start to notice, then I will finally call for help so I can do something about them! And THAT, my friends, is the way I started 2010!

How has YOUR year started??

~Linda Frederick

Trade ya!

“Trade ya!” shouts one boy, holding out his cup of carrots, hungrily eyeing his neighbor’s fudge brownie. Remarkably, the swap is made… one boy with two brownies, the other munching away on an extra handful of carrots. Doesn’t really seem like an even trade, but it happens every single day at the lunch table of schools everywhere!

As an elementary teacher, I’ve noticed that some kids are better at trading than others. There are certain kids who manage to trade the dirtiest, worn out Matchbox car for the newer remote controlled one…or the plastic watch from a cereal box for a real metal one. And there’s always one kid at the table with five or six pieces of cake piled high, while his neighbors’ plates hold his rejected pieces of meatloaf. I’ve often asked the child who I felt got the raw end of the deal, “Why did you trade for that?” The response is usually always the same; “”Cause he wanted mine, so I just took his.”

Hardly seems fair, right?

Imagine us, going through life laden with fear, worry, depression, financial problems, health problems, sin problems….We’re walking along, dirty and down, when we run up on Jesus. He has it all! Life, peace, love, joy, health, prosperity, wisdom, the favor of God, righteousness… What we wouldn’t give to have what He has!!!

“Trade ya!” we say, holding out our heavy load, hopefully reaching for his light one. And remarkably, the swap is made:  His health for all our disease, His peace for our worry, His faith for our doubt, His spotlessness for our sin, His life for all our death.

Hardly seems fair, right? To have all the promises of God piled on us like extra helpings of cake when we didn’t deserve them at all? Jesus didn’t have to make this exchange. Yet, if His Father asks Him, “Why did You trade for that?” Jesus’ response will always be, “Because they wanted what was mine, so I took what was theirs.”

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21).