Let Go and Let God!

PIGGY BACK RIDE
© Alicia Shields | Dreamstime.com

“Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old, they won’t be lost.” ~Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)

This is an easy scripture to read and believe when your children are little angels, but when the world starts setting into your child, you start beating yourself up, wondering what in the world you did wrong. The number one thing you have to remember is this: it’s going to happen.

You can put your small child on your back, carry them across the desert, teach them right from wrong, tell them what God has to say about them, and show them who they are in Christ, but you can only carry them so far. There is going to come a day when they will have to walk for themselves. And they’re going to make mistakes…and fall down. It hurts our parent’s heart when they jump off our back, thinking they can make adult decisions, only to get themselves in some kind of mess.

Think of the story of the Prodigal son from the Father’s side. He went out everyday, looking for his son. You know he was praying for that boy. When the son realized what he had done and where he had gone wrong, he went home. His father saw him a far off, ran to him, hugged him and brought him inside. He never stopped loving him.

As parents, we can’t really do anything but love our children and pray for God’s help to protect them while they go on their way. When they fall, we have to remember that we have a loving Father in Heaven Who was there for us, helping us back on our feet and loving us unconditionally when we missed it. We just have to trust Him; He’ll be there for our children, too!

~Guest contributor, James Parrish

Love Thy Neighbor

One teenager’s journey in self-discovery and learning about respect…

I’m passionate about learning about people from other cultures and helping people relate to each other and get along. I’ve always been a hard-core people person, but I really got on fire for developing communication and respect cross-culturally three years ago I went on a mission trip with my church to Nicaragua. It was the most eye-opening experience I’ve ever had! The best thing about the week I spent in Nicaragua was having the privilege of playing with all the kids at Casa Batesda orphanage. I colored and played with stickers with the kids for a while, then got them to get a ball. We played basketball and soccer and had a great time. When it was time to leave the orphanage, I wanted to take all those kids with me. Next, we went to this really poor community on the coast, called Masachapa. While we were there, we cooked hotdogs for more than a thousand kids who had nothing. With all those kids around, I had plenty of opportunity to play soccer and bring a smile to the kids’ faces.

The land and the people of Nicaragua are beautiful, but it surprised me just how much poverty there was. It was gut wrenching. But there was one thing they had plenty of: love. It really touched me that, with all their poverty, the thing they wanted the most was love instead of material things.

After going on this trip, I’ve had a whole new love for the people around me and for life in general. I realize just how much we have and take advantage of here in the US. There are problems and issues we have, of course, but our country has so much to offer, and we should be more appreciative. When I got back, I began really pursuing the Hispanic kids in my school and getting to know about their culture, lifestyle and hardships. I learned how much they had to work to be able to come to the U.S. I want to continue to travel and see other cultures and places all around the world and use what I know to help people abroad and in my own community learn how to communicate with and respect each other.

Senioritis

Senioritis [seen-yer-ahy-tis] noun A crippling disease that strikes high school seniors. Symptoms include: laziness, an over-excessive wearing of track pants, old athletic shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sweatshirts. Also features a lack of studying, repeated absences, and a generally dismissive attitude. The only known cure is a phenomenon known as Graduation. – The Urban Dictionary

As the mother of a high school senior and as a fifth grade teacher, I’m surrounded by people affected by a complex disease known as senioritis. This disease makes it appear that the afflicted have completely lost their minds. Teenagers once content with their environment and circumstances are suddenly angered by them. Carefree children are suddenly worried about what lies around the next bend. Responsible young people make outrageously bad decisions. Apathy seems to abound.

It’s baffling, really. Right when you think they KNOW better, their actions lead you to believe that maybe they’re not really ready for that next big step after all. You start to wonder what they missed, how they got as far as they did, and if it’s even possible for them to succeed at the next level. They appear destined for complete and utter failure. Why don’t they care? You stand around, scratching your head, wondering, “Who ARE these people?!” They are certainly NOT the people they were even one short year ago…

… and THEN…

Graduation occurs! Graduation – the miraculous cure to senioritis. The calm that comes as they step across the threshold is akin to the noiseless cockpit of a plane after it has broken the sound barrier. Breakthrough has been achieved. Yes, it’s a busy time for planning and preparing for the new experiences at hand, but the noise and nervousness are gone, replaced by a fresh determination and sense of purpose. Apathy and lethargy become distant memories in the thrill and excitement of embracing this new season. Senioritis is gone!

“Now wait a minute,” you’re thinking. “All that happens with one lousy piece of paper slapped in your hand?” No, of course not. It’s not the paper or even the ceremony of graduation that signals the breakthrough. It’s the awakening to a new season that occurs when the mind grasps the accomplishment that has just taken place. It may not happen in an instant, but ask any of our high school or college graduates in a couple weeks or a month, and they’ll tell you that SOMETHING has changed. They will tell you they know they are not in the same place anymore and that there is NO GOING BACK NOW!

We all go through this process. We become seasoned experts on one level – the top dogs of our group. We get so good at what we do that we become overqualified to stay where we are, so we must move on to the next level. Once we realize that, things start shaking… all hell starts breaking loose in our emotions, in our circumstances, in our relationships. We fumble. We make mistakes trying to juggle a past that we’ve fulfilled with a future that is unfamiliar. We turn to see if there’s a way to stay put, but it’s too late… we can’t make it work out here and going “there” seems impossible. We have become officially infected with Senioritis. We get frustrated and angry at the helplessness we feel. We try to undermine ourselves by slacking off and coasting along. We distance ourselves from important relationships in our lives. We are plagued by thoughts of impending failure. “I can’t do it. I’m scared. What if I don’t make the right decision?” All these thoughts and emotions whirling around make us appear to those on the outside as though we’ve lost our minds! They may even wonder who in the world we are. We don’t look like or sound like the person we were even a short year ago…

…and THEN…

Graduation occurs! Breakthrough! We step across that threshold into the new level God has prepared us for. SOMETHING has changed. We are not in that same place anymore and there IS NO GOING BACK NOW!

So do a check-up: are you in a state of apathy or lethargy? Are you struggling to maintain your relationship with God and others? Are you frustrated and fumbling around in your spiritual life? If so, it may just be that you are experiencing Senioritis. Don’t be content to stay put where you are! Go ahead and take those qualifying exams and press into the next level God has for you!

(First published 05.31.09)

Honoring Your Parents…a Mother’s Day Musing

Happy Mother’s Day! As I wait for the coffee to be ready on this beautiful Sunday morning, my mind is mulling over the question one of our teen leaders from church asked me earlier this week: “As the mother of teenagers, how do you teach your children to honor their parents?”

*Sigh*

Well, as the mother of teens, I wonder almost daily if I HAVE taught my children to honor their parents. It certainly does not always appear so. You cannot make one person honor another. You can tell them it’s good for them ’til you’re blue in the face (“Hey, you want to live a long and prosperous life, don’t you???”), but you really have to SHOW them for it to stick. So, how do you do that??

1. Show them that you honor your own parents. Watch the way you talk about your parents in front of your children. Demonstrate unconditional love towards your parents, so your children can watch and learn. Honor your parents’ wishes and dreams…. even if you cannot follow them or fill them, you can honor them by acknowledging them. Walk in love with your parents, forgiving them readily for the mistakes they make and asking forgiveness for your own mistakes. Tell your parents you love them and appreciate them!
2. Show them that you honor each other. All children have two parents. You may be married and raising a child together, or you could be divorced and sharing your child between you and your ex, or you might be single and raising a child without the other parent in the picture. Whatever your situation, give honor to the other parent of your child (if for no other reason than the fact that your child would not exist without that  person).
3. Honor your child. As a parent of two very strong-willed children, I know this is not always easy. In fact, I believe I have fallen down in this area many, many times. But our children must see that we honor and esteem them, not only for the potential we see in them, but also for who they are right now, today! Praise your child for who they are, not just what they do. It is important to acknowledge their efforts and accomplishments, but we all need to know that we are valuable even when those efforts fail.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t add that we all must first honor God. Our daily walk with Him is more real to our kids than to anyone else. They are always watching, after all!! If they see that we honor Him in all we do, they will learn how to honor others.

I don’t know when it is that we know that we know that our children honor us as parents. My theory is that it is sometime after they turn 25. Somewhere around there, children have the epiphany that they really don’t know everything and Mom and Dad actually knew what they were talking about…. most of the time!

While many of us are years away from that magical moment, we must strive to praise and honor every practice step these little ones make towards honoring us…

…every dandelion picked and proudly presented

…every burnt piece of toast served up on a tray to your bedside

…every effort to help around the house without being asked

……… and every SINGLE time you hear those amazing words, “I love you, Mom.”