Even though I have heard that you become what you behold, it never really sunk in. After a recent message I heard about Jacob and the flocks of Laban, I began to ask myself, “What am I beholding right now?” Suddenly, I saw was an athlete running a race. I realized that if he cannot behold the finish line, he won’t ever cross it. Then it hit me; not only do we become what we behold, but we pursue what we behold. So then the obvious question is what are we pursuing? Is it money, health, relationships, acceptance, fame, God? Recently, Holy Spirit gave me a glimpse of what I was truly pursuing and beholding.
One day this month, I had a presentation to give. The presentation went well, but I knew that my part of the presentation was not perfect. I have really suffered through the years with the need for perfection. So I started beating myself up until I had this horrifying thought: “I will always be wrong about something! No matter how many times I may go from glory to glory, I will still never be perfect! What’s the point of going from glory to glory if I will never ‘arrive’, if I’ll never be perfect!” At this point, my eyes were open to see the true object of my affection. I was not beholding or pursuing God, as I had convinced myself, but I was beholding “perfection.” I was searching for the “perfect me” that would one day never be wrong or mess up. I was simply using God as a means to obtaining perfection, not beholding or pursuing God.
Jacob’s bulls were completely unaware of the speckled wood they were beholding. They just reproduced what they saw. So, too, was I unaware. I thought I was beholding God, but I was really beholding my own weakness. By beholding that weakness, I reproduced it in my life. To change what is reproduced in my life, I have to change what I behold.
So if you have been beholding the wrong things, or do not know what you are beholding, pursue God. Purposely behold God. Now is the time to seek Him and find out who He really is and who we truly are. God is relying upon each of us to behold Him and His truth, because until we do, we will continue to reproduce a speckled generation, instead of the pure line of our King.
(First published November 4, 2007)