Most children look to their daddies to be their helpers: to fix everything for them when they’re too little to do it themselves. “My toy is broken, daddy. Can you fix it for me?” a child says with pleading eyes.
My story is a little different. I had a broken heart that couldn’t be easily fixed with tape or new batteries. I would have given anything for a dad who wanted to spend time with me when I was little. I used to be so sad when a movie would show a little girl climbing up in her daddy’s lap because that was something I never experienced.
I never felt safe around my daddy growing up. He was tall and had a booming voice that made me jump when he entered the room. I couldn’t just go up to him and say, “Daddy, I need a hug,” because he was often too busy doing his own thing. After a while, I just quit waiting for him to play with me because the sting of rejection was too much for my little heart to take.
When I came to Gateway, I was just a young girl still trying to get used to my parents’ divorce. I remember hearing sermons about the Father’s love. It was unlike anything I’d ever heard of before. Apostle David would explain that God loves each one of us unconditionally. I desperately wanted to believe that, but I had been so disappointed many times before in my life, and I needed help believing even that. Thank God that Holy Ghost is my helper! As I learned to pray in tongues for my own growth and edification, my Helper showed up to fix my broken heart.
After being able to grasp that God really wanted a relationship with me, scars and all, I began to let Holy Ghost heal my heart little by little. It started with praying in tongues and meditating on the words of the songs each time we worshipped in church. I would find myself humming the words during the week when I was alone. Holy Ghost would take those words and help me see how they applied to ME personally.
It wasn’t always easy, but over time, Holy Ghost helped me see that it didn’t matter if my daddy ever told me that he loved me or not. God’s love became real to me, and I knew that HE cared for me. Through surgeries, falls, and awards ceremonies at school, Holy Ghost has helped me get through it all, letting me know and experience His love. He was there to help me let down the walls that I put up to keep others out, and through that I began to experience God’s love through those around me as well. I have found that I don’t have to do anything to impress God; I don’t have to be perfect. He just loves me for me. How awesome is that?!
You may think that you are too broken, too messed up, or too shameful for God to ever love you. That’s not the case, my friend. Once I let Holy Ghost help me experience God’s love, my life has never been the same. As I fully submitted to God, trusting Him to be the father I never had, He has given me an unspeakable peace concerning my daddy. God’s Holy Spirit has helped mend that void in my life, and He can do the same for you.
I dare you to believe Holy Ghost to be your Helper. He is all that you need! See what happens!